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22 Mar

13 Tinder Tips For Men

How To Tinder

Among my girl group, there are 2-3 of us who are on the dating app, Tinder (I say, us, but I may or may not be one of the 2-3).  This has led to countless conversations about swiping right, swiping left, profile pics, how soon is too soon to exchange numbers or go on a date; and has led to questions such as "how do I make it so this guy never pops up in my feed again" and make ratchet comments like, "he is bae AF."  Oh, wait.  That last one was in response to a photo that Michael B. Jordan posted on Instagram, but, I digress.  Actually, no.  Guys, you, too, can possibly be "bae AF" if you take a little advice from us. 

  • Stop posting photos with your homeboys.  It is guaranteed that you will be the least attractive guy in the photo and thus, lead to our disappointment. 
  • Stop posting photos with some other woman.  We're always going to assume that she's your ex (or your current) or that you both are looking for a threesome (if the latter is the case, just state it in your profile, so we can keep it moving).
  • Stop posting photos with kids.  It's a dating app.  These kids did not consent to you posting their photo all over the internet.  Plus, it's just weird.
  • Stop posting shirtless photos unless it's a vacation photo of you on the beach.  These photos will get one of two responses: "It's a thirst trap.  Swipe left" or "He's full of himself.  Swipe left."
  • Stop posting blurry photos.  This just makes us think that you're still carrying around a flip phone circa 2005.
  • Stop posting photos where you are far away from the camera.  That's awesome that you caught that wave, but right now, I just want to know if you're cute.
  • Stop posting photos where your face is hidden.  See previous tip.
  • Stop posting bathroom selfies.  All we see is the lid up on the toilet in the background and we're immediately grossed out.  Swipe left. 
  • Stop putting "self-employed" or "boss" for your occupation.  We automatically assume that you're unemployed.  Instead, just tell us what you do.
  • Stop posting only one photo.  We need several photos to get a good idea of what you look like.
  • Stop posting photos that look like they were taken 5-10 years ago.
  • Stop swiping right if you're never going to actually message us.  Yes, we still like a guy to make the first move. 
  • Stop posting photos of you and whatever celebrity you met.  We're not impressed. 

 

Tamara Marbury
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